Becoming Different: Healing, Growth, and the Power of Change
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Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how much I’ve changed—how life has changed me. A friend said something recently that stopped me in my tracks.
She told me, “You’ve changed.”
I responded as if that was a bad thing.
She looked at me and said, “You went through some things, and you are different because of them.”
I had to sit in that, just as I had to sit with the words my therapist spoke months ago: “The past five years have been very traumatic for you.”
I was flabbergasted when she said it, because I hadn’t seen my experiences as traumatic.
But I am different; and, that’s okay.
For those unfamiliar with my story, I’ll share a little of it here.
In 2020, the world experienced a pandemic. I also got married.
That same week, my mother was diagnosed with glioblastoma—brain cancer. Two weeks later, she was scheduled for brain surgery to remove the tumor.
A year later, my husband was diagnosed with small cell cancer that attacked his neuroendocrine system. Fourteen months after that, my husband died. Ten months later, my mother died.
I have noticed, in all of these moments, that I have changed mostly because my life just looks so different. I went from being surrounded by people every day, all day long—to spending most of my days alone.
For so long, I was a caretaker. A provider of energy.
I showed up for people. I handled business. My life was defined by my role in their lives more than by the life I had dreamed up for myself.
When my parents started dating, my father was in medical school to become a surgeon. He asked my mother what she wanted to be, and she told him she wanted to be a mother.
When I was a child, people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. My answer changed nearly every time—but the consistency was in what I wanted to do.
I wanted to help people.
And for thirty years, I did.
I helped my parents with my grandparents when they lived with us. I helped my husband navigate a rough road. I helped my mother see the good in her condition.
Now, I find myself asking: who helps me?
As I continue to change and my life continues to shift, I wonder if I’ll get another chance to love someone. I wonder if I’ll have another opportunity to be loved by a partner.
I question whether I’ll continue to grow this legacy business successfully.
I ask myself if I’m good enough to help my bonus baby navigate his own legacy experience.
These are the quiet questions that come when life forces you to rebuild yourself from the inside out.
Still, I am deeply grateful—for the people who have crossed my path and helped me along the way.
For family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers.
For the small business ecosystem in Detroit and the ways it has held me up.
For the people who have trusted me to love them through the inconsistencies of life.
And for those who continue to show up for me, even in silence.
This season of change has taught me that growth isn’t just personal—it’s collective.
As Terri’s Cakes Detroit continues to evolve, I am honored to share that we are part of the inaugural Detroit Elevate Cohort, powered by Black Leaders Detroit, The Gilbert Family Foundation, and Techtown Detroit.
As a member of this cohort, we’ll have an opportunity to be considered for grant dollars—and your support means the world.
Beginning October 29, 2025, you can cast your vote for Terri’s Cakes Detroit.
Thank you for sticking around while I change.
Thank you for standing beside us as we grow.
I look forward to baking for you soon—and sharing more of this journey along the way.